A MAGAZINE FOR AND ABOUT LOUISVILLE
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liquids | coffee | BY DAVID LANGE
 
It happens to everyone: You walk into your favorite coffee shop and peruse the menu board, but it appears to be written in a foreign language. Then you overhear people ordering coffee drinks, and your mind overloads with the lingo of the coffee mecca."I'll have a grande, double-shot, wet, skinny cappuccino on a leash." Huh? "Make mine a venti, foamless, half-caf soy latte with wings." What!? Even a plain-and-simple cup of coffee takes on new meaning when it's ordered as a "short, COD, cake in a cup ... and be sure to shock it." Being a coffee shop novice can be intimidating, even embarrassing, now that the coffee culture has taken root in Louisville's neighborhoods. So how does one emulate Frasier and Niles Crane in mastering the essential demeanor for java junkies and coffee gurus in the making? How can you appear savvy to your friends and make a statement about your knowledge of coffee-ordering rituals? It's simple: Learn the lingo! In other words, it's not enough to drink the drink - you have to talk the talk. Let's start with the fundamental building block of today's popular coffee drinks, espresso. The word "espresso" (never "expresso") is often wrongly construed as a definition for darkness of roast, fineness of grind, a specific blend of coffees, or even as if Espresso were a country where coffee is grown! In fact, espresso is strong coffee that's brewed by forcing water through darkly roasted, finely ground coffee beans, one small-cup-size "shot" at a time. From this basic drink springs all the other caffeinated concoctions that have enriched our coffee culture. Identifying espresso starts you on the way to your education in the language of the coffee house. Espresso can be ordered as a single or a double (one shot or two). Add a drop of foamed milk and it becomes a macchiato - "marked" with a swirl of white. Add about 6 ounces of steaming water and it becomes an Americano. To move up the ladder, learning a little Italian as you climb, ask for your espresso con panna - topped with a dollop of whipped cream. This completes Lesson No. 1. Now it's time to move on to more exotic elixirs. Without a doubt, cappuccino is among the most popular espresso-based drinks. Cappuccino takes its name from the coffee-colored hoods that Capuchin friars wear. It's a romantic marriage of steaming espresso topped with a velvety cap of foamed milk. You can modify this basic recipe to your liking by changing the type of milk, adding flavored Italian syrups or boosting its octane with multiple espresso shots. In the United States, we savor this drink all day - in contrast with the norm in Italy, where cappuccino is a breakfast beverage never consumed after 11 a.m. Do not confuse honest cappuccino with the "bubbacino" product sold at convenience stores. Cappuccino is not made from a powder. It is not permeated with sugar. And it definitely doesn't spew from the spout of a vending machine. For those just beginning to venture down the espresso path, I recommend starting your journey with a caffe latte. This familiar drink is prepared by adding steamed, not foamed, milk to a shot of espresso. This gentle drink offers an easy introduction to the flavor profile of espresso-based drinks. Like the cappuccino, the latte can be modified by using different milks or flavored syrups. Or, for a real treat, add some chocolate to create caffe mocha, a truly decadent potion. One local coffee emporium features a double-tall mocha made with whole milk and topped with extra whipped cream, appropriately named "Thunder Thighs." A word of caution if you travel to Italy: "Latte" is the Italian word for "milk." When you stroll into a quaint Italian espresso café, don't order a "latte" unless you're in the mood for a glass of milk. Order a "caffe latte" and you'll get the warm and satisfying libation you intended. Now that you've mastered the basic coffee drinks and their nomenclature, you can further expand your coffee thesaurus by discovering the subtle additions that vary these drinks. Make yours "skinny" by substituting skim milk, or "breve" with half-and-half. Espressos can be basic (a 1 1/2-ounce cup), ristretto ("short," a 1-ounce serving) or lungo ("long," a 2-ounce serving). Cappuccino can be basic or alternatively layered in an Irish coffee mug. And don't forget such romantic international alternatives as the French café au lait and the Cuban café con leche, which give a whole new definition to simple strong coffee and hot milk. Devote a little time to research and a little effort in experimentation, and you can turn that visit to your favorite barista into a rewarding experience. Just as many bars have a special "ordering language" for their clientele, the same is true of your favorite espresso bar. Learn, cultivate and flaunt the language of coffee. Soon you'll be impressing your friends - and your local barista - when you order a "quad tall whipless foamless" or "a Yankee dog with a white hat on a leash." Just watch their expressions when you try that! |
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